y am i always feeling the same?

can i dont feel it tat way?

hais~

watever it is.

all i want is history wont happen again.

dunno y im easily committed into sth.

once committed will fall deep into it.

den will be very difficult for me to let go and give up.

if reallie i have to let go and give up.

i will be damn sad and it will hurt me alot.

i failed my basic theory.

nth to be ashame of ba i think.

no more swensens.

-_-

going to rebook it on mon with nina.

i will pass the second try.

i want kfc!

i dont want chicken rice.

lol.

=D

met my crazy pri sch girls.

met dolly first at taka.

den was walking aimlessly while waiting for candice and shanyun.

den the 4 of us went to buy a belated prezzie for lisa.

her bdae was on 2mar.

haa.

den waited for lisa to knock off from work at 630pm at paragon.

den we headed heeren for sakae for dinner.

we are reallie freaking big eaters.

except for shanyun lah.

the 4 of us ate abt 25dishes of sushi.

and some ala-carte dishes.

wow~

candice said tat eating jap food is not fattening.

so next time eat more jap food lor.

haa.

the most shocking thing is.

the bill came out to be $111.

wahaha~!!!

aft discount is $99.

lalala~

aft dinner we went went back to taka and wisma for some shopping.

candice and shanyun bought a tube dress from mango.

and my eyes caught a top there.

reallie like it.

but i just stop myself from spending le lah.

aft tat we 4.

dolly lisa candice and me.

we went back to our favourite hometown aka chap lao for dessert and drink.

haha.

hanging out with them is damn great.

making lots of noise inside heeren.

laughing out loud in the middle of orchard road.

tats y we are ourselves 'crazy 5'.

lol.

i suddenly feel tat im a good girl man.

lol.

as in i did not went out till late midnight le.

lke wat i used to do.

coz tat goondu jun's schedule is like totally different from mine.

i finished work den she start working.

or i just reached store and she's gg home liao.

and oso tat another goondu nina.

i tot i work full time liao at least got nina to acc me to crap during work.

stupid-ly.

she is selected to go to other stores for attachment.

for training for the new dunno watever system.

first she went marina center.

and now she's at east coast park.

ytd she told me she is gg to parkway aft east coast park.

wth lor~

den i ask her when she will be back in kallang.

well..

even she herself oso dunno.

yawns~

somehow or rather im like left 'alone' in the store.

sians~

so u see.

how are we one gang able to go out.

well to think back.

my last outing with them was with ismail.

the last ride i ever had till now.

hais.

is very difficult for me to forget lor.

but on the other hand.

u think i dont wana go out at night meh.

to me.

young must enjoy life mah.

but my mother will nv ever have those 'open' mindset to allow me to have more freedom.

hais.

is reallie ming ku not have freedom lor.

when den i can get my freedom?

21yrs old?

till the day i married?

hais.

i reallie got no idea.

'that's what friends are for'

the sentence is damn meaningfull.

and the song is real nice too.

jun called me early in the morning while im still in my dreams.

she need a favour from me to help her.

hmm well.

somehow dunno y i felt glad tat when she need help she rmb me.

she think of me.

coz i always tot tat she got her other friends and she neglect me.

seems like she is not tat kind of person.

hmm but..

who noes tat when she need help den she will look for me.

other den tat she dont care.

haiya suet ah~

dont think too much lah.

she is my best friend.

she is one of my friends who can understand me more den other friends.

hee.

called her just now.

same routine.

she ans.

she told me tat she will call me back.

but she did not.

for so long i had known her.

out of 10 times of her 'wait i call u back'

she will onli call me back once.

bth her.

as wat shan had tagged.

im 'FINALLY' attached.

ma chiam i got no one want.

yup tats wat i always thinking lah.

im always the swayest one who cant last a relationship long.

den u all one by one got attached.

in the past during gatherings one by one bringing bf along with u all.

somehow or rather left me alone who got no one to bring along.

did u all ever stand in my shoes and think for me?

how is the feeling like?

well think u all dunno how is the feeling is like.

actually i wana tell u all this damn long ago.

i just dunno how to tell u all.

dont have the courage to say it out.

every gathering i reallie have the urge to tell u all tat no guys are allowed.

do not bring bf.

but i did not say it.

somehow i felt tat if i do tat.

im selfish.

so i chose to be sad deep in me rather den to be selfish.

but as time goes by.

more and more gatherings.

i used to the sadness le.

the feeling is numb le.

like wat iris had said.

it had been a damn long time we ever have a 'all girls' gathering.

yup seriously i do miss those daes onli we girls de gathering.

hey~

for wat i had said above i got NO HARM k.

tat was my past feelings le.

as for now.

im happily in love.

lol.

lalala~

hee.

=P

hey ya ya ya.

i noe i damn long nv blog liao.

coz somehow reallie busy with work and everything ba.

well somehow my jies noes it le ba.

im attached.

hee.

knew him aft shan's big day.

met up with dolly and lisa to go nyp support shanyun artwork.

aft we visited shanyun.

we went to kbox plaza to k.

den dolly was saying she's gg pub with her friends.

asked lisa and me to join.

so ok lor.

aft kbox we went pub.

i oso dunno where is it lah.

somewhere ard chinatown i think.

haa.

did not reallie talked to him tat much tat night.

onli until the next morning dolly msg me saying tat he wants my number.

den everything started.

haa.

actually im quite stressed and worried abt this matter.

coz he is the guy tat dolly liked.

hais.

well.

he went to ask dolly will she mind if he jio me.

is like...

den dolly says tat she dont mind.

so everything begins.

(:

i dunno will there be anyone will say anything abt it behind my back.

i dont care.

as long as im happy can le.

ntu called me for an interview for mathematical sciences.

the course tat i put first choice.

reallie dunno hope to get in or not leh.

somehow having a mao dun feeling leh.

hmm.

well well well.

yup.

im back blogging le.

sorry to those who still constantly view my blog but yet i did not update.

yup.

lotsa things had happened.

firstly.

16feb is the day tat i say BYE to nyp.

no more lesson.

no more lecture.

no more tutorial.

no more lab.

no more fyp.

lol.

next.

cny.

same as b4.

went back m'sia.

but sad is my stomach not feeling well.

so actually did not ate so much good food.

but i still ate bak kua.

=x

lol.

yup.

went cameron highlands.

nice place.

shall visit there if got chance again.

next.

came back singapore.

busy doing shopping with my jies.

coz to buy dress for my liu jie's wedding.

(:

yupp!

got 1 from daniel yum.

hmm of coz not forgetting working.

not more school liao.

if nv work.

one day u all will see suet eating grass somewhere.

lol.

working hard of coz not forgetting to relax myself.

occasionally or can say quite often.

i will go out with nina, jun and some of the riders.

to had supper, bowling or sit down somewhere to chill out.

we all went club too.

we went hard rock cafe on bai's bdae.

yup yup.

im glad tat i can reallie clique with them quite well.

at least i wont be left out.

if not life will be damn miserable.

hmm ever since clique with them well.

i start to going home later and later.

opps!

=x

next.

is my shan liu jie's big day~!

7mar.

yup yup.

congrats wor my liu jie!

hope u wont forget ur sis hor!!

i bet u dont dare to forget.

lol.

hmm.

yup.

always rmb.

we will always be by ur side NO MATTER WAT HAPPEN.

(:

of coz not forgetting to take photos.

we took lotsa lotsa photos.

hee.

waiting for yun and iris to send or burn for me ba.

haa.

ohh ya.

another thing is.

recently im damn ON with my pri sch friends.

dolly, lisa, candice and shan yun.

lisa, dolly and me went kbox last night.

den went pub too.

tgt with dolly's friends.

hmm well next.

think is my emo time le ba.

seriously.

life is REALLY unpredictable.

u all see and continue reading.

i went supper with nina, jun and some other riders last sunday.

ismail tong bang me.

we all went to bukit timah for supper.

we all was as usual joking and talking craps.

aft supper.

ismail sent me home.

guess wat?!

this morning jun called me ard 7plus.

to inform me tat ismail pass away.

PASS AWAY?!?!

he's died!!

he met with an accident.

is a hit-and-run!!

heard tat his helmet flew off.

kinda serious.

died on the spot.

is a passer-by who called the ambulance.

he is actually on his way home.

within 5mins he will reach home liao de lor.

den met tat kind of fucking bastard driver.

hais.

jun and almost all the riders and ex-riders went to his hse.

i wanted to go too.

but i got a party gg on.

so did not go.

yup.

sad.

shocked.

unbelievable.

the last time i saw him is tat sunday midnight tat he sent me home.

my last word to him is 'bye'.

and its reallie a BYE.

sobs.

did not see him again coz i did not work from mon to thurs mah.

still can rmb the way he call me.

'ehh~ suet..~'

no more tat face.

no more tat voice.

no more ismail.

hais.

ohh did not tell u all how old is he.

he will be 21 on 24mar.

so he is not even 21yrs old lor.

hais.

so damn young die liao.

he got no illness or anything.

reallie lah.

life is just unpredictable lah.

ismail RIP``

hais next.

tom ma chaim bringing me round and round and round.

leading me to dunno where.

he himself oso dunno where is he heading to.

hais.

well.

i think sometimes somethings are meant to keep it to urself.

not even telling ur closest friend.

(:

well well well.

yup.

im back blogging le.

sorry to those who still constantly view my blog but yet i did not update.

yup.

lotsa things had happened.

firstly.

16feb is the day tat i say BYE to nyp.

no more lesson.

no more lecture.

no more tutorial.

no more lab.

no more fyp.

lol.

next.

cny.

same as b4.

went back m'sia.

but sad is my stomach not feeling well.

so actually did not ate so much good food.

but i still ate bak kua.

=x

lol.

yup.

went cameron highlands.

nice place.

shall visit there if got chance again.

next.

came back singapore.

busy doing shopping with my jies.

coz to buy dress for my liu jie's wedding.

(:

yupp!

got 1 from daniel yum.

hmm of coz not forgetting working.

not more school liao.

if nv work.

one day u all will see suet eating grass somewhere.

lol.

working hard of coz not forgetting to relax myself.

occasionally or can say quite often.

i will go out with nina, jun and some of the riders.

to had supper, bowling or sit down somewhere to chill out.

we all went club too.

we went hard rock cafe on bai's bdae.

yup yup.

im glad tat i can reallie clique with them quite well.

at least i wont be left out.

if not life will be damn miserable.

hmm ever since clique with them well.

i start to going home later and later.

opps!

=x

next.

is my shan liu jie's big day~!

7mar.

yup yup.

congrats wor my liu jie!

hope u wont forget ur sis hor!!

i bet u dont dare to forget.

lol.

hmm.

yup.

always rmb.

we will always be by ur side NO MATTER WAT HAPPEN.

(:

of coz not forgetting to take photos.

we took lotsa lotsa photos.

hee.

waiting for yun and iris to send or burn for me ba.

haa.

ohh ya.

another thing is.

recently im damn ON with my pri sch friends.

dolly, lisa, candice and shan yun.

lisa, dolly and me went kbox last night.

den went pub too.

tgt with dolly's friends.

hmm well next.

think is my emo time le ba.

seriously.

life is REALLY unpredictable.

u all see and continue reading.

i went supper with nina, jun and some other riders last sunday.

ismail tong bang me.

we all went to bukit timah for supper.

we all was as usual joking and talking craps.

aft supper.

ismail sent me home.

guess wat?!

this morning jun called me ard 7plus.

to inform me tat ismail pass away.

PASS AWAY?!?!

he's died!!

he met with an accident.

is a hit-and-run!!

heard tat his helmet flew off.

kinda serious.

died on the spot.

is a passer-by who called the ambulance.

he is actually on his way home.

within 5mins he will reach home liao de lor.

den met tat kind of fucking bastard driver.

hais.

jun and almost all the riders and ex-riders went to his hse.

i wanted to go too.

but i got a party gg on.

so did not go.

yup.

sad.

shocked.

unbelievable.

the last time i saw him is tat sunday midnight tat he sent me home.

my last word to him is 'bye'.

and its reallie a BYE.

sobs.

did not see him again coz i did not work from mon to thurs mah.

still can rmb the way he call me.

'ehh~ suet..~'

no more tat face.

no more tat voice.

no more ismail.

hais.

ohh did not tell u all how old is he.

he will be 21 on 24mar.

so he is not even 21yrs old lor.

hais.

so damn young die liao.

he got no illness or anything.

reallie lah.

life is just unpredictable lah.

ismail RIP``

hais next.

tom ma chaim bringing me round and round and round.

leading me to dunno where.

he himself oso dunno where is he heading to.

hais.

well.

i think sometimes somethings are meant to keep it to urself.

not even telling ur closest friend.

(: